When Life Won't Let You Work: Understanding Your Overload

A really quick Personal Kanban in Kanban Zone

You're trying to focus on the quarterly report, your brain keeps circling back to your parent's diagnosis. Or the argument with your partner last night. Or the news that won't stop being terrifying.

You tell yourself to focus. You work longer hours to compensate. You feel like you're failing because you can't just "push through" like you used to.

This is a good news / bad news moment. Or maybe a company in misery. You’re not alone in this one, even though it very much feels like it. You're not failing.

This is what we call Existential Overhead in the PK book. Stuff is happening outside of work, it’s still in your brain and that reduces your capacity. And pretending it isn't makes everything worse. And everyone pretends.

Your Brain Isn't a Machine

When Tonianne and I wrote Personal Kanban, we put existential overhead right at the beginning of the book. Not as an afterthought. As a fundamental reality of being human. And right now, that existential overhead is at a level we’ve never seen before.

It’s everything happening in your life that's consuming cognitive capacity but isn't on your to-do list:

• Family health issues

• Financial stress

• Your own health

• Grief or loss

• Housing instability

• Relationship breakdown

• Trauma being triggered

• Workplace toxicity (also rising because of this)

• Global chaos creating constant background anxiety

None of this shows up on your personal kanban, but all of it is consuming your mental bandwidth.

The Math Everyone Pretends Doesn't Exist

Your working memory can hold roughly 3-4 new pieces of information at once. On a good day, maybe 7-9 if the information is familiar.

But here's what nobody talks about: You don't start Monday morning with a clean slate.

Before you open your laptop, you're already carrying those stresses listed above. They all create this background noise, fear, uncertainty, doubt…anger, frustration. Any emotion that distracts your ability to focus and finish, it’s there.

All of it using up your mental “focus-slots”. You have maybe 2 or 3 slots left for actual work.

Your manager expects 9, your team expects 9, you…expect 9.

The math doesn't work. It never did. But you blame yourself for not being able to handle it. And, sigh, that blame is even more existential overhead. And we get a downward spiral.

What Happens When You Ignore Existential Overhead

You work longer hours to compensate.

Not sustainable. Your brain is already fragmented. You are working more hours just means more fragmented hours.

You make more mistakes.

Executive function is partially offline. You miss things you'd normally catch. You feel like you're losing your edge.

You lose creativity.

Innovation requires cognitive availability. When you're managing existential overhead, you're in survival mode. Deep thinking disappears.

You can't help others.

No overflow capacity means you can't be the team member you want to be. You feel isolated and inadequate.

Eventually, you burn out or quit.

Because you can't keep operating at 150% of your available capacity forever.

The Solution Isn't "Try Harder"

This isn’t easy, but it also isn’t complicated. The I am personally tired of productivity advice assuming you are ready to change your whole life and adopt crazy new behaviors. Build better habits! Just focus more! Just manage your time better!

So, for right now, we need to get ahold of our existential overhead. Big solutions won't work, because you are already overloaded. . You can't habit-hack your way out of grief. You can't time-manage away financial terror.

So, to start, let’s Let’s just see and confront the overhead.:

1. Acknowledge It Exists

Stop pretending you should have unlimited capacity. You're human. Life affects you. This is biology. It’s how we humans interact with the world around us.

2. Make It Visible (At Least to Yourself)

On your Personal Kanban board, you don't have to put "parent's cancer diagnosis" as a task. But you can acknowledge that existential overhead is consuming capacity. That some things suck.

Some people create a visual indicator: "High overhead week" or "Reduced capacity" or just a color-coded signal that reminds them: I'm operating with constraints right now. One woman we worked with used to have a thinking ticket…a ticket on her board she would pull to give herself permission to pause and reflect.

3. Adjust Your WIP Limits

Years ago, we worked with someone who lost her father. We lowered her work-in-progress to one thing a day. Not zero—we didn't want her to feel useless. But one meaningful task that she could complete, feel good about, and then go process her grief.

That's not lowering standards. That's working with reality.

When you're dealing with existential overhead, your WIP limit needs to reflect your actual available capacity, not your fantasy capacity.

4. Communicate Without Confessing

You don't need to explain your entire life situation to work effectively. But you do need to be able to signal reduced capacity.

"I'm at 60% capacity this week" is sufficient.
"I need lighter load for the next month" is sufficient.
"I can't take new commitments right now" is sufficient.

No diagnosis. No confession. Just operational reality.

This works best if your team has psychological safety. But most teams need to create that safety. That starts with you acknowledging your own capacity honestly and adjusting accordingly. Others see this, will appreciate it, and will try to respond in kind.

5. Plan With Reality, Not Optimism

Most people plan their week as if they have unlimited capacity and nothing will go wrong.

Then life happens. And they feel like failures.

Realistic planning asks:

• What's my actual available capacity this week?

• What existential overhead am I managing?

• What's truly essential versus what's just urgent?

• What can I defer until I have more bandwidth?

What This Looks Like in Practice

Instead of: "I should be able to finish this project by Friday"
Try: "I want to help, but given my current capacity (show them on your board), finishing by next Wednesday is realistic"

Instead of: "I'm going to work evenings to catch up"
Try: "I'm going to adjust my commitments to match my available capacity"

Instead of: "Why can't I focus like I used to?"
Try: "I'm managing significant existential overhead. My focus is reduced. That's normal."

Instead of: Hiding struggle until breakdown
Try: Signaling reduced capacity early and adjusting workload

Why Your Team Needs to Know This Too

When you're managing existential overhead and hiding it, you're not just hurting yourself. You're creating problems for your team:

• They can't adjust to help you because they don't know

• They misinterpret your reduced output as lack of commitment

• When you eventually burn out or leave, there's no transition

• Your struggle becomes invisible, then suddenly catastrophic

Want to go deeper?

Read deeper articles on our Substack - Why Seeing Your Work Matters and When Work Hurts

Join the free webinar - Seeing existential overhead and why it destroys teams

Take the Personal Kanban class - Learn the full system for managing work and life sustainably

Join the workshop - Build team systems that work with human reality instead of against it

Read Personal Kanban - The book that started it all, with existential overhead right at the beginning

Bringing Clarity and Intentionality to Our Work

Neglect scales. It's all too easy to find ourselves drowning in tasks, emails, meetings, and general cognitive chaos. Even Tonianne and me. We will find, not infrequently, that work has snuck up on us. A task here, a commitment there. The next thing we know we are frustrated and snapping at each other.

Even years after writing Personal Kanban, we find ourselves having to stop, write down everything on our plate, and adjust. Is it because we are flawed? No. Is it because our tools don’t work?

No.

It’s because we are humans. The world will always change faster than we do. The difference is, Toni and I have strategies to quickly notice when we’ve taken on too much and readjust. Every time we do it, every single time, we feel the same relief and … embarrassment.

We are Human

The thing is, we fall into other traps that people do. We think we have more work than everyone else. We think other people’s work is easier than ours. We know this is flawed thinking, but it is a natural tendency.

That's why we’ve been so passionate about Personal Kanban and being able to see our work and our team’s work. We’ve had wonderful calls over the last few weeks, people coming to classes that we haven’t talked to in years. They are coming with stories of success we never even knew about. Unique and wonderful ways they and their teams have reclaimed focus and agency over their work.

They, too, had stories of starting to visualize their work, things getting better, then they hit a snag, and then they regrouped. There is a desire for the PK board to just work. As if it were some totem or magic object that would make everyone pay attention to everything all the time. But nothing can give you this power, what the boards and visual management do is increase your understanding of the underlying issues causing our overwhelm and lack of clarity.

The Personal Kanban board doesn’t stop you from needing to improve. It doesn’t magically improve you. It shows you where improvement or adjustment is necessary.

When We are Apart We Can Still Be Together

In our case, when we start to get edgy, we know there is something we are not visualizing. We cannot see our own Gemba.

The "gemba" - the actual place where the work happens - for us, because we are distributed across the planet, is our PK and our Obeya (where the PK and our other visualizations live). Creating visual models of our work, like the PK board with its "today" column for setting daily intentions, surfaces bottlenecks and constraints we may have been blind to before. Only by observing how people truly operate can we design systems that harmonize with reality rather than fighting against it.

At the heart of it all is bringing intentionality to how we take on work and spend our most precious resource - our undivided attention. We have near-daily collaborative working sessions that keep the team aligned on real problems, agree on immediate next steps, and get work done together. We use the PK and the visual tools to avoid getting mired in abstract conversations and stay focused on the work's true context.

Ultimately, our use of PK instills a sense of calm, creative flow in our daily efforts. By making our work tangible and limits visible, we can curb cognitively-destructive multitasking and enjoy focused progress. Instead of reacting constantly to new distractions, we become conscious choreographers of how we spend our time and energy.

Because, right now, our time and energy are seriously under attack.

If you haven’t already, I invite you to check out the Personal Kanban book ​or the PK class on Modus Institute. ​We also have several live classes scheduled in the upcoming months. Come join the conversation.

The Power of Personal Kanban: Achieving Work-Life Balance in Remote Work

hoto by Sebastian Pandelache on Unsplash | Commercial use allowed

Introduction: The Relevance of Personal Kanban in Remote Work

The rise of remote work has become a prevalent trend, especially with recent global events. As more individuals embrace this flexible work arrangement, it is crucial to address the challenges it presents, such as maintaining work-life balance and managing stress. This article explores the effectiveness of Personal Kanban in mitigating these challenges and improving productivity in remote work environments.

Remote work offers various benefits, including flexibility and increased autonomy. However, it also comes with its own set of challenges. Without the structure of a traditional office setting, it can be difficult to separate work and personal life, leading to longer working hours and heightened stress levels. Personal Kanban provides a practical solution to these challenges by helping individuals prioritize tasks, manage time effectively, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Understanding Personal Kanban

Personal Kanban is a visual system that originated from Toyota's production system and has been adapted for knowledge work. It is a method that focuses on making work visible and limiting work in progress (WIP) for individuals. By visualizing tasks on Kanban boards, individuals gain clarity and control over their work.

One of the key benefits of Personal Kanban is increased productivity. By limiting the number of tasks in progress, individuals can focus on completing one task at a time, reducing the tendency to multitask and increasing overall efficiency. Personal Kanban also improves focus by providing a visual representation of tasks and priorities. This visual system allows individuals to see their progress and identify any bottlenecks or inefficiencies in their workflow.

Personal Kanban also helps individuals manage their time effectively. By visualizing tasks and their respective deadlines, individuals can prioritize their work and allocate time accordingly. This prevents tasks from being forgotten or overlooked, leading to better time management and increased productivity.

The Impact of Personal Kanban on Work-Life Balance

Achieving work-life balance in a remote work setting can be challenging due to blurred boundaries and longer working hours.However, Personal Kanban can help individuals prioritize tasks, manage time effectively, and avoid multitasking, leading to a healthier work-life balance.

One way Personal Kanban promotes work-life balance is by encouraging individuals to set boundaries. By visualizing tasks and limits on the number of tasks in progress, individuals can better manage their workload and avoid overcommitting themselves. This allows for more realistic expectations and prevents work from spilling over into personal time.

Personal Kanban also facilitates the adoption of healthy habits and breaks. By visualizing tasks and their progress, individuals can better gauge their workload and identify opportunities for breaks. Taking regular breaks is essential for maintaining focus and preventing burnout, ultimately contributing to a healthier work-life balance.

Another key aspect of Personal Kanban that promotes work-life balance is the concept of limiting work-in-progress (WIP). By setting a maximum number of tasks that can be in progress at any given time, individuals are forced to prioritize their work and avoid becoming overwhelmed.This not only helps preserve thinking ability but also increases awareness of workload, allowing individuals to make informed decisions about their time and energy allocation.

Implementing Personal Kanban in Remote Work

Implementing Personal Kanban in a remote work environment requires careful consideration of various factors. Practical tips for successful implementation include determining the right tasks to work on, managing interruptions, and handling the expectations of others.

Determining the right tasks involves understanding priorities and aligning them with personal and professional goals. This requires a clear understanding of what needs to be accomplished and the impact it will have on work-life balance. By selecting the most important tasks and focusing on them, individuals can avoid becoming overwhelmed and maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life.

Managing interruptions is another challenge in remote work environments. With increased flexibility and autonomy, individuals may face more interruptions than in a traditional office setting. It is important to establish clear communication channels and boundaries with colleagues, clients, or family members to minimize interruptions and maintain focus on tasks.

Collaboration and transparency facilitated by Kanban software play a crucial role in remote work settings. Kanban tools allow individuals to collaborate with team members, share progress, and receive feedback in real-time. This not only enhances productivity but also promotes a sense of connection and teamwork, which is essential for maintaining motivation and work-life balance in a remote work environment.

Additionally, Personal Kanban can be combined with other productivity strategies, such as the Pomodoro Technique or the Getting Things Done method, to further enhance work-life balance. By incorporating these strategies into the Kanban workflow, individuals can optimize their time management and productivity, ultimately leading to a healthier work-life balance.

Case Studies and Success Stories

Real-life examples of individuals who have successfully implemented Personal Kanban in remote work can provide valuable insights. These individuals have experienced positive impacts on their work-life balance, stress management, and overall productivity. Their testimonials and quotes can serve as inspiration for others looking to implement Personal Kanban in their own remote work environments.

One such example is Sarah, a freelance graphic designer who struggled with work-life balance due to the unpredictable nature of her workload. By implementing Personal Kanban, Sarah was able to visualize her tasks, set priorities, and manage her time more effectively. That was the easy part. But the board also her to see the separations between work and personal life and the overlaps. Sara is a graphic designer and loves to design. She could see where her overwork was due to being enthusiastic, this allowed her to recognize the balance between that enthusiasm and the need for rest and recuperation (and paying attention to family).

Another example is John, a neurodivergent software developer who found it challenging to stay focused and avoid distractions while working remotely. By using a Personal Kanban board and limiting his work-in-progress, John was able to stay on track and complete tasks more efficiently because the definition of done and the definitions of what was required to be done were more apparent. This not only improved his work-life balance but also greatly improved his communication and collaboration with his team..

These case studies highlight the effectiveness of Personal Kanban in remote work environments and demonstrate how it can positively impact work-life balance. By implementing this visual system and adopting its principles, individuals can achieve a healthier balance between work and personal life, leading to increased productivity and overall well-being.

Tools and Resources for Personal Kanban in Remote Work

Various tools and resources are available for implementing Personal Kanban in remote work environments. Kanban software provides features that facilitate task management, reporting, and collaboration, making it an ideal choice for remote work settings. Project management platforms like Smartsheet can enhance Personal Kanban by offering additional functionalities, such as Gantt charts and resource allocation.

In addition to dedicated Kanban software, there are also digital tools and apps specifically designed for Personal Kanban. These tools offer a range of features, such as customizable boards, task tracking, and integration with other productivity tools. Individuals can choose based on their preferences and needs, whether they prefer a more minimalist interface or a comprehensive project management platform.

When selecting tools and resources for Personal Kanban in a remote work environment, it is important to consider factors such as ease of use, compatibility with existing systems, and scalability. It is also essential to prioritize data security and privacy, particularly when working with sensitive information.

Overcoming Challenges and Adapting Personal Kanban to Remote Work

Implementing Personal Kanban in a remote work setup may come with its own set of challenges. Effective communication, time management techniques, and flexibility are key strategies for overcoming these challenges.

Effective communication is essential for remote teams using Personal Kanban. Clear communication channels and regular check-ins can help team members stay aligned and informed about progress and priorities. This fosters collaboration and ensures that everyone is working towards common goals, ultimately contributing to a healthier work-life balance.

Time management techniques, such as setting realistic deadlines and breaking tasks into smaller subtasks, can help individuals better manage their workload and avoid becoming overwhelmed. By breaking tasks down into manageable chunks, individuals can maintain focus and make steady progress, ultimately leading to a healthier work-life balance.

Flexibility is also important when adapting Personal Kanban to remote work dynamics. Remote work often comes with unpredictable schedules and interruptions. Being flexible and adaptable allows individuals to adjust their Kanban practices to suit their unique circumstances and maintain work-life balance.

Conclusion: Empowering Work-Life Balance in Remote Work with Personal Kanban

Personal Kanban offers a practical and effective approach to enhancing work-life balance in remote work environments. By visualizing tasks, limiting WIP, and improving productivity, individuals can achieve a healthier balance between work and personal life. Prioritizing work-life balance and utilizing tools like Personal Kanban are essential for remote workers to thrive in their professional and personal lives. By implementing Personal Kanban and adopting its principles, individuals can navigate the challenges of remote work and achieve success while maintaining their well-being.

The Negative Weight of the Undone

Even though I have been using Personal Kanban for a number of years, even though I am fully aware that I have a limited amount of time to do stuff each day, even though I know overplanning each day is exactly what I am not supposed to be doing. I do that… pretty much every day.

And, like most people who keep a backlog or a ToDo list of some kind, I carry stuff from one day to the next. One of the reasons I bailed on GTD and switched to Personal Kanban was that I found I was spending so much time each day just changing due dates in Things for all my unfinished work.

BRING THE SHAME

So now I have this stuff and it just sits, in the backlog. For a while I used Trello and stuff would start to change color if it sat too long. Some kind of subtle visual cue to let me know I just wasn’t getting it done. <SHAME=”on”>  So, I’d just move the card up or down in the list and BANG! It’s like a shiny brand-new thing that hasn’t actually been sitting there for six weeks.

TASK BLINDNESS

Visualizing work is a big reason Personal Kanban works. Those visual cues can be very helpful. I noticed early on that there’d be stuff on my board that just sat. Sometimes things just sat because even though they seemed important enough to add, they ended up apparently not being compelling enough to spark action. (This includes the action of removing them from the board.) These cards end up just sitting there, taking up space. I stop noticing them when I look at the board.

But there were other things on the board. They started out as totally neutral, keep the lights on kinda stuff. They would bring me neither joy nor pain. Just stuff I had to do. And the longer those neutral things sat there, the less neutral they became. And the less neutral they became, the more ways I found to not be able to have time to do them.

YOUR BACKLOG IS MOCKING YOU

It’s kind of like that paper you had to write in high school. When the assignment was given, it wasn’t a big deal. It was something you figured you could knock out in an evening. And so you blew it off for a bit and let it sit, and the more it sat, the more it stressed you out. Like it was just sitting there mocking you and your total inability to get it done. And you start thinking if it is such a trivial thing, why haven’t I done it yet? And then “OMG IT MUST BE HUGE AND I DON’T HAVE TIME!” and then “I AM GOING TO TOTALLY FAIL” and then, you resign yourself to the fact that you will spend the rest of your days alone and unemployed… in Greenland!

And then it’s really hard to get started.

THE NEGATIVE WEIGHT

The longer I let those little innocuous things sit on my board, the more negative weight they have. The more negative weight they have, the more time I spend making sure I don’t get them done… which adds to the weight. It’s a nice little vicious circle of psychological anti-productivity.

THE QUESTIONS TO ASK

So, even though it is not a visual cue, I do have to question myself about this each day when I look at my board.

• Where are the term papers I am avoiding?

• How am I avoiding them?

• Why am I avoiding them?

PRIORITIZATION BY RESISTANCE

This has led me to one of my prioritization patterns. Prioritization by Resistance. Some days (especially Sunday), I have to prioritize to do the things I want to do the least first. That way, each thing done offers two rewards. The first is a decent reduction in stress because I have one less negative weight thing to worry about. The second is that because I am doing the thing I want to do the least first, everything I am about to do is always going to bring more joy (or just suck less) than what I am doing now.